omgoodness, I'm blogging again!

Dear readers, I know it has been a VERY long time since i posted anything on my blog. Life as you all know sends us many curve balls and challenges. I finally got a computer that works and have decided that i am going to blog again! I know, miracles do still occur! I will once again be searching the wacky world of strange and weird laws and warning labels. I will find those stupid signs posted around the world. I want to beg you to come back and explore the idiotic things we are expected to follow by lawyers, companies and public officials. Comments and suggestions are not only welcome, but would be GREATLY appreciated! I promise to to try and make you giggle and smile! Hope you read me soon! love, janene

About Me

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mom, wife, jeeper, motherinlaw, and crippled old granny.

"I am not a man! I am an animal!"

In the wonderful state of Wyoming, they must have a bunch of really ugly white dudes! I can only guess they made the mistake of locking up a poor defenceless animal because of this problem! They passed a law that states,"it is unlawful to own an albino monkey due to unsure identification of a Caucasian male."


"No more, PLEASE!"

This law comes from the sunny state of Arizona. My sister and a few of my friends live there so I will have to ask their opinions on why this became a law. "A decree declares that anyone caught stealing soap must wash himself/herself with it till it is all used up". It sounds like soap in Arizona is a pretty rare commodity, my sister seems to have plenty. Her family of seven are never dirty and smelly. Maybe the reason is that she is a soap thief and she spends all her time scrubbing as penance. Just kidding sis! I have come across a few people that I would gladly GIVE soap, but somehow I doubt they would want it. These are the people that don't LIKE soap!


"Hi Sign!"

There are lots of ways to greet another person you meet. A handshake, a hug, a nod of the head, but if you are in New York City, there is one that will get you in BIG trouble.  What greeting could be SO offensive that it could mean jail time if you are caught doing it? "Putting one's thumb to the nose and wiggling the fingers" Yes, I'm serious.  New Yorkers find this soo offensive, they passed a law prohibiting this harmless little greeting! Where is their sense of humor?  Oh, Yes, they have none....IT IS NEW YORK AFTER ALL! We have no such law, so I will stick my thumb to my nose, wiggle my fingers proudly, and say "Hello world!"


"Best news ever!"

There are certain days in a mother's life that stick out in her memory, today will be one of mine! My precious little girl gave me a wonderful suprise! It came in a purple envelope and at first I thought they were pulling my leg, April fools is just a few days away!  Inside the envelope was a cute Easter card, and written down in pink pen were the words I have longed to hear...,"I AM PREGNANT!" and being MY little girl, she added, "nope! not April fools!" I am going to be a grandma! I get to spoil a little boy or girl and hug and love them, and show their pictures to everyone I meet! Yahoo! I am soo excited! I did however react dumbly! All I can say is that I was VERY suprised and it took a bit to sink in, now it has....I AM OVER THE MOON THRILLED TO DEATH!!!! Courtney and Matt, I love you tons, its wonderful news! I hope this grandma, hehe, GRANDMA!, gets to spoil them often! 


"Polly want a cracker?"

In the beautiful city of Miami, Florida you can do many things. There is ONE thing however you can't do! "it is against the law for a man to force his wife to dress as a parrot -even if she is hideously ugly". If your wife is hideously ugly, would a parrot suit help? I have NO IDEA why the city of Miami felt the need to make this law.....absolutely none. If any of you know, please share!


A little different post today......

I am not posting a silly law today, sorry, I have an important thing today. I have known a lot of young people lately thar have been diagnosed with colon cancer. Most can be treated if caught early with a colonoscopy. It is a simple test, honestly!  The prep is the worst part! I am having one done today. I wont say it is all sunshine and flowers, last night I had to drink a gallon of salty lemon lime goo, a glass every ten minutes. Within an I went, and went, and went..well you get the idea! I should be squeeky clean now! The test its self isn't bad, they knock you out.  Think of it as a little nap that can save your life. Sweet dreams! And PLEASE make sure to get your screening done, DEFINITELY if you are over the age of fifty! The love of my life is having his done this year! Please don't be afraid or embarrassed, your life is to precious!  Love you all..PLEASE STAY HEALTHY!


"Cock a doodle, BUSTED!"

If you are a chicken in the state of Illinois, you do NOT have freedom of speech! Illinois law states,"chickens that cackle must be at least 200 feet away from any residence if they wish to avoid being arrested ". I personally believe in the death penalty for chickens, I love them fried with mashed potatoes!


I "Picked" the right girl!

This silly law comes from Illinois. "A man can force any single woman to marry him if he sees her picking her nose while sitting in a car at a traffic light".  I know we have ALL done this! You know you have! But having to marry a guy just because he SEES you do it! All you single women in Illinois, If you want to "pick" your own husband, I would recommend you use a tissue and leave the "picking" for the privacy of your own home. And a side note....if you must "pick", please wash your hands!

"Hold on a bit, I got a bit on here...."

Men are lucky, they can....relieve...themselves practically anywhere!  In the U.K. it is actually legal for them to do it in public provided they follow this law, "a man who feels compelled to urinate in public can do so only if he aims for the rear wheel and keeps his right hand on his vehicle "!  I have never been to the U.K. and I think people who do visit keep this in mind, and DON'T STEP IN PUDDLES ON THE STREET!



I am thankful for being an American for many reasons, but I am very glad for freedom of speech! Where would we be if we couldn't express our dislike of our president.  I am so glad I can name my pet donkey  OBAMA and not fear the law! In France, it is actually illegal to call a pig, NAPOLEON! Be glad Americans we can name our pig Napoleon, our goat George, our Turkey Clinton, and our female dog. ...Hillary of course!


"I can't! It's Sunday! "

There are a lot of things you can't, or shouldn't, do on a Sunday. The state of Florida has actually passed a law, "unmarried women who parachute on Sundays can be jailed."  I would not tempt fate by skydiving on any day, but particularly Sunday! Why does this law only partain to SINGLE women?  Maybe male Floridians want an easy way to become single? "Of course I checked your chute darling!"


Do fish drink?

Today's law comes from Ohio, "it is against state law to get a fish drunk."  I can just picture old Billy Bob out on the lake, pouring moonshine in, waiting for the drunken fish to jump into his boat! Most likely the only drunk.....Billy Bob himself!


Learning to Mobil blog

Since I will be going to beautiful Moab soon, I want to keep my blog current. As a result I must learn to send to my blog. I don't "dance" as well as my sister, but I will try, and most likely, break my leg! So please be patient!  And if I can make it work I will post awsome pictures of our adventures!


Permission to eat sir?

"You want to use these now?". In Vermont, "women must obtain written permission from their husbands to wear false teeth".  Now I have come across a lot of idiotic laws, but I think this one really "BITES"! What could the powers that be in Vermont could possibly have been thinking? If anyone has any ideas as to why this became law...please share! And a side note...please forgive me for being absent the last couple days. I have been a little under the weather! I hope you missed me!

"Too dumb or crazy to marry"

Rhode Island law sectionll-40-1 states, "Any marriage where either of the parties is and IDIOT or LUNATIC is null and void". What prompted Rhode Island to make this law? Were the crazy retards, (ya ya ya i know it ain't politically correct to call them retards!) taking over the asylum? We have all been just a little crazy now and then, and there are a lot of people wandering around with a stupid sign on their forehead! But "tards" in Rhode Island can't say I DO!  You also have a quick way to become single in RI. "Are you sick of your deadbeat spouse? Wanna get rid of the jerk?  Want an easy end to your marriage?All you have to do in  Rhode Island, to be rid of  your significant other ,is a really good "Forest Gump, Rain man, or Jim Carry impression!" If Utah passed a law like this , the whole population would be single! (me included, I am a little stupid, and my hubby is a little crazy! "CRAZY STUPID PEOPLE NEED LOVE TOO!!!"

Love do's and do not's in Idaho

 "Has it been two minutes yet?"

In Idaho if love is in the air you must follow this very important law, " A boy can only court a girl after obtaining written permission from her father!" Now I am the mother of two girls and I think Idaho may have something there! If daddy had to give permission to the boys to date our daughters, maybe we could help weed out a few of the frogs! But if you do court a girl, and you are feeling "amorous" in the back seat of the old Buick, and Idaho troopers come across you in the throws of passion, don't worry! They have their own set of laws to abide by..." If police officers suspect a couple is having sex inside a vehicle they must honk their horn three times and wait two minutes before they approach the scene." How very considerate of the Idaho police! On the other hand, I am sure there are some people they don't want to see....NAKED!!!!

"Come back and fight!, It's just a flesh wound!"

The silly laws for today, yes there are two, come from West Virginia and Tennessee. I decided to post two because they are kind of related. In West Virginia, "It is illegal to taunt someone for not accepting a challenge for a duel. Actual: If any person post another, or in writing or in print use any reproachful or contemptuous language to or concerning another, for not fighting a duel, or for not sending or accepting a challenge, he shall be guilty of a misdemeanor, and upon conviction, shall be confined in jail not more than six months, or fined not exceeding one hundred dollars. " I cant believe people still duel! But it is comforting to know that you wont be called a sissy if you decline, and if you do and they make fun of you, you get the last laugh! They get fined or go to jail!  Now if you live in Tennessee and want to run for office, the Tennessee constitution Article lX reads..."You must believe in God to be elected into office. You also are not permitted into office if you were contendant in a duel". So I guess if you are ever in West Virginia and are challenged to a duel, say, "I can't, I would really like to, but I am running for Governor of Tennessee! That way you can back out, and not feel like a sissy!

Utah's stupid laws

Today's outlandish law comes from the state of Utah! "when a person reaches the age of 50, he/she can then marry their cousin." Okay, I don't know about you, but this is a little bit DISTURBING to me. I love my cousins but i don't, LOVE my cousins.You know the old saying, "incest is best when  kept in the family." Experts have also  told us for years that if you have a child in such a marriage, they will be retarded! I guess the state figures you cant reproduce at that age, at least MOST can't, so the "mentally challenged" population wont increase! Or could it be that the dating pool for older folks is so shallow your only choice is to "swim" with CLOSE family! I thought that the only ,"brother, sister, or cousin lovin" happened in the deep south! But if they made it a law in Utah, there must be some cousin lovin going on here! EW!!!!!!!!

Complain not, Fix not!

Today's silly law comes from the wonderful state of Louisiana. In Baton Rouge  if you complain about the condition of the city streets you can be forced to fix it yourself. Now I am all for community involvement but do we really want some ignorant person filling  potholes with whatever and however they want? Maybe if they were given supervision this would actually be a GOOD idea! I myself have often wished i could place a rather large speed bump in front of my house to slow traffic down! Lets just hope that other cities don't think this would be a good way to save money!

That can't be illegal. Can it?

Most of us live our lives trying to be upstanding citizens and doing our best to not break any laws. I would bet a great number of us also have been pulled over while driving not having the slightest clue why. There are some laws on the books that are so silly and outdated, and are being broken everyday! An Utah it is actually against the law to NOT drink milk! I happen to be allergic to milk so i guess they should lock me up and throw away the key! Every day i will post another stupid, silly or just plain ludacris law that is actually in the law books. Please feel free to post any laws you find! Happy Hunting!


Today i got to see what its like to be a drink in a cup with a straw poked into it! I had to go have a tube put down my nose, through my stomach and into my bowel.....yes it is as painful as it sounds! after the tube was placed they added another exciting element.....contrast! It tasted like really bitter sprite. It was horrible going down....and even worse coming back up. for my next fun filled adventure i get to have an endoscopy and a colonoscopy the same day! Uhg! I am not looking forward to it. If you have had this test before you know all about it! They make you drink laxatives...alot of them...and ummm how do i put this. They want everything in you out! I am NOT looking forward to it at all! Enough about the "torture" of janene. I have another sickness ...SPRING FEVER! today was a beautiful warm day! the snow is starting to melt and the starlings are starting to build their nest inside the birdhouse. I am soo ready for winter to be over! in a couple of weeks i  will be in moab! This year we are doing a trail called, "chicken corners". It is the easiest trail in moab and the youngsters that go to moab every easter find it too boring and not challenging enough! We have a small group of people that come and bring their kids and grandkids to our trail and last year they had 5 generations of their family! at our lunch break we set up an obstecal course, blindfold the driver and have a passenger navigate the course! we also give away tshirts and other cool prizes and we have and easter egg hunt for the kids. Our regular group of followers love bringing their kids and having "family funtime". I am hoping the weather will be warm and beautiful, I am soo ready to go bask in the sunshine! A few years ago we got snowed on down there! the snow and ice on the rocks gave new meaning to the term...."slick rock". Ice and cliffs dont go good together! This jeep safari will be the first one without my courtney! The newlyweds cant afford to come this year. Matt has never been wheeling before and i was looking forward to taking him down to moab and scaring him to death! lol , maybe next year! Nathan is taking his big monster jeep down  if he gets it put back together! This year Derrick will be taking his jeep down to wheel. ( mommy doesnt like it very much, but all of  the kids are inflicted with the wheeling bug! I think its probably genetic!) My poor kids havent had but maybe  two or three easters at home. when they were younger  the easter bunny came  to the motel every year! I cant wait for the day when we introduce our grandkids to moab in easter! well thanks for reading! I love that you stuck with it and read to the end! This week i hope to revamp my blog and make it more interesting! I want to add pictures and a section called, "is this really a law"? There are some really stupid laws in our country. In the near future i am going to find the most idiotic laws that are either still on the books or were at one time! If any of you find a stupid law please share it with me! see you on the flipside!

springtime.....means MOAB!

The spring has always meant just one thing to me....time to go to Moab! This is our 19 or 20th year heading to the wonderland of four wheelers. I made these sayings up a few years ago, i thought i would share them with you. If you are a jeeper, you will totally get these....and if not....well i hope you can sorta relate!
YOU KNOW YOU ARE A HARDCORE FOUR WHEELER WHEN.... drive by a building with a steep set of stairs and you start to pick your "line". work off your "rear end" to buy one for your jeep
...your jeep is worth more than your house lock it in just to go through a pot hole. build a new house with a taller garage just so your jeep will fit in it with a bigger lift. have subscriptions to every 4x4 magazine and you save every copy, you also have all of the articles from the last five years memorized.
...your refer to your lovely wife as your "winch"'ve spent weeks trying to figure out how to get bigger tires under your jeep, without more lift. park your jeep in the garage and your bmw on the street. put swampers on your wife's car just so you feel comfortable driving it carry more pictures of your jeep in your wallet than pictures of your wife and kids know more about jeep than chrystler
...the only part of your jeep left that is actually a jeep part is the logo
...the sight of red rocks make you drool
...its Easter and you are in MOAB!
I know all of my fellow wheelers can relate to this, especially the dear women who suffer from a man jeep obsessed! There are many wheeling women too, my daughters are great "girl" drivers too! Often showing up the boys!! Way to go Girls!!!!!  watch for pictures of this years trip! and keep your fingers crossed that we come back on our own power and not a trailer again like last year!

Medical billing practices can make you SICK!

I have had it with the way people who handle billing for hospitals and doctors operate. The Mountain Star Hospital chain billing department is one of the most frustrating group of humans on earth! In April of 2008 i had to go to the er because of severe abdominal pain. I paid my required insurance copay, was treated and then sent home. My abdominal pain was much better, but what i didn't know is my real pain had just begun! A few weeks passed and i received my insurance explanation of benefits or eob and the whole er bill, including the doctor was 100% covered except for my 100$ copay, that i paid the day of my treatment. "Patient responsibility"! That is where the ordeal should have ended...SHOULD HAVE! Well about six months went by and i received a call,the first of many...from MountainLand Collections. The billing department for the er doctor i saw sent an account to mountainland to collect 283$ for his services. I had my eob that said they were paid in full, and i owed them nothing for that date of service. I told them the claim number and the date that the insurance had paid it, less than 30 days after i was released. MLC said they would contact their client...the er doctor...and have them recall the account because the insurance had paid it. Before hanging up they said,"we have to let you know this is an attempt to collect a debt!" Ok, fine thanks. Thinking,"OK, the insurance paid this account and i had given mlc the information that they needed to fix this, its done." NOT!!! More time goes by, quite a bit actually, and i had taken care of it, it was paid. HA! All of a sudden out of the blue mlc calls me. I knew that April account had been paid and they had proof, so maybe they had another account i didn't know about. "what is the date of service and who is it from," i asked. April 2008 er physicians...the same date of service they were supposed to clear! Once again i told them the insurance had paid it, i owed nothing...please fix this. They said they would pass the information on to the client again and "this is an attempt to collect a debt". More time goes by, i didn't even think about this account anymore, after all it had been paid by the insurance and i owed nothing and they had proof! Ring Ring Ring...guess who! mlc! I didn't feel like dealing with them, at this point i also knew i didn't owe them anything, so i didn't answer the phone. they called my house twice a day for a few days and i ignored them so what do they do next? THEY CALL MY HUSBANDS WORK PHONE! They told him that this account was going to go to their lawyer and if we didn't pay that very day, they would take us to court, "this is an attempt to collect a debt." This made hubby very "upset". Hubby calls need to call this person and take care of it, they are going to sue us. I told hubby, "bill has been paid by the insurance, we owe them nothing, and i will call them. I will also inform them that they are not allowed to call him at work, and they better not do it again." I called mlc, told them not to call hubby's work phone anymore, and we owe nothing on this account, insurance had paid it and they knew that." "OK, we will not call his work phone, and we will verify the account was paid by the insurance", oh and,"this is an attempt to collect a debt". More time goes on...i am thinking,"finally they will fix this mess." NOPE! They call again! Same date stupid account! This is retarded! I called the insurance company thinking if mlc gets a call from the insurance company, and they tell mlc that the bill was paid and i owe nothing, that it would be resolved. Strait from the horses mouth so to speak! They would have to believe and insurance company...RIGHT? The insurance company calls me back. "We have told mlc that we have indeed paid this claim, and they should not contact me in anyway. Mlc said they would hold off for sixty days, for that is how much time they needed to get everything squared away. Sixty days later, mlc calls again, my husbands work phone! Hubby very upset again, after all they were threatening to take us to court, had to pay this bill now or they will tack on lawyer fees, and the amount could double. Hubby calls me, i reassured him, that it was still the same account that they had been pestering us for for months and that the insurance had paid it and we owed them nothing i would call mlc again and take care of it. I called mlc...AGAIN..went through the whole, "we don't owe this the insurance has paid it don't call my husband at work again!" "Your insurance denied this claim and you need to pay us NOW!". I told them I would call the insurance and see why they denied the claim, confused as to why the insurance had sent me an eob showing my financial responsibility was zero. "OK, and we have to let you know that this is an attempt to collect a debt" Fine. I called the insurance again to see why they sent a denial letter to mlc for an account they had paid over a year ago. "it was denied due to the fact that it was a DUPLICATE claim and had already been paid. Evidently the er physicians had sent the insurance another bill instead of sending ME a letter informing me that they had cleared the account. The insurance was not going to pay the same claim again! At this point the insurance claims adjuster suggested she and i make a conference call to mlc and the er physicians billing department and tell them this bill had been paid, i owe nothing, and to leave me alone! We arranged to do the conference call the next day. I got all of my documents in order so i would have the information in front of me when we made the call and a copy of the original bill from the er with the number of the people we needed to talk to. The claims adjuster for the insurance called me and i gave her the numbers for the other two party's. mlc was easy to get on the line, but we got transferred several times until we finally got a person from the er docs billing department that could fix things. While mlc the insurance and the doc billing were all on the line, the adjuster informed them that she had copies of the canceled checks that the er physicians had cashed, a month after the date of service and i owed nothing, never owed anything, and would not owe anything in the future. She told the er docs to clear the account, and mlc to leave me alone! They said they would, and i would have a letter in thirty days stating the account was cleared and my credit repaired. mlc and the er docs hung up and the adjuster said that should do it...end of story. WHEW! Its over! WRONG AGAIN! Two years after the date of service, and remember they cashed the insurance check in the same month as the date of service, and guess who calls me. YUP MLC!!! They were still demanding payment for this same stupid account! The agent at mlc was new to this case so i had to tell her the whole messy story and that it had been paid, i owe nothing, and that this was supposed to have been cleared months ago. She said that,"the insurance had denied the claim and i had to pay it right away, it was a two year old account and they were going to take me to court now because it had not been paid." I informed her it had been paid, and this account should have been resolved months ago! She told me i would have to mail or fax her a copy of the eob as proof it had been paid and as soon as she got it she would clear the account. I told her i would have the insurance fax her copies of the eob that day. Before hanging up i got the old, "This has been an attempt to collect a debt" speech. I was beyond annoyed now! I called the insurance...again...they said they would fax them right then and there the eob and that should take care of it! "Good, lets hope so, Thank you", i said. I called mlc back and told them they should be receiving the fax within the hour from the insurance. mlc said," OK, they would clear the account after the fax came in, and would send my cleared account confirmation letter to me in a couple of weeks. and this has been an attempt to collect a debt". Great, fine, dandy! six days go by. On Friday Feb 26th all be darned if i didn't get a letter from mlc. With happy anticipation,for i was expecting a letter stating my account was cleared and my credit repaired, i opened the letter. "This account is very old and is being sent to our law department. You can pay this off to avoid legal fees by calling this number and asking for extension 215 to make a payment." Date of service, april 2008, provider, the er doc, the date on the letter? Two days after the eob had been faxed to them from the insurance! And at the bottom of the letter in BIG BOLD PRINT..."THIS IS AN ATTEMPT TO COLLECT A DEBT" NO WAY! You have got to be freeking kidding me! I called the number on the letter, dialed in the extension 215, and a recording proceeds to tell my that the extension does not exist! I hung up and called mlc again and asked for the agent listed on the letter. "She isnt in the office today, we will take a message and have her call you." "I don't think so, i want to talk to someone right now!", "we are sorry you have to wait and talk to her, she is the only one that can deal with this account." "OK, take a message and have her call me asap, this account was supposed to have been cleared six days ago." "this is an attempt to collect a debt" goodbye. I was at my wits end...i wasn't about to wait for her to call me, i called the insurance again. "remember that claim we took care of last week? well they sent my letter, not a paid in full letter, a give us 289$ now letter!" The insurance person is now as frustrated as i am. "Give me their phone number and i will call them". i gave her the number and let her know that the agent they said had to handle the account was out of the office and she was the only person that could. "I will make them talk to ME TODAY even if i have to keep going over someones head till i get to the president of the company. I will call you right back". I thanked her and didn't expect for her to get anywhere either. 20 minutes later the insurance company called me. "Mrs. Olsen, i demanded they take care of this today, i am faxing a copy of the canceled checks and have told them that they had better clear this and mail you the RIGHT letter next week at the latest!" I asked her how she did that, after all i had been told they couldn't help me until the agent over my account came in the next day. "I kept asking for supervisors of supervisors until i got someone in charge. We have been dealing with this long enough, They have one week to clear it...I would suggest you file a complaint with the better business bureau and maybe look into filing a harassment claim against them." I am seriously considering this, the insurance company would give me notarized statements supporting my case. My mom thinks i should, "get Ghepard" a local news person that goes to bat on camera and makes people do their job. I would love to do that, but i DON'T want to be on TV! We shall see if this nightmare is finally over...i am not going to hold my breath! Keep your fingers crossed, and if anyone has had similar problems, please let me know. I would also be glad to tell you the names of the players involved so you can avoid these jerks! i will let you know how this saga turns out!


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