omgoodness, I'm blogging again!

Dear readers, I know it has been a VERY long time since i posted anything on my blog. Life as you all know sends us many curve balls and challenges. I finally got a computer that works and have decided that i am going to blog again! I know, miracles do still occur! I will once again be searching the wacky world of strange and weird laws and warning labels. I will find those stupid signs posted around the world. I want to beg you to come back and explore the idiotic things we are expected to follow by lawyers, companies and public officials. Comments and suggestions are not only welcome, but would be GREATLY appreciated! I promise to to try and make you giggle and smile! Hope you read me soon! love, janene

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mom, wife, jeeper, motherinlaw, and crippled old granny.

Frycicles!

Okay, this is my second post for today, but I had to share! I have been paying extra attention to labels lately, you know why, wink-wink, and making dinner tonite I found this little gem! I hope you find it as funny as I did! On a bag of "Kroger" brand frozen steak fries is this, "SERVING SUGGESTION.KEEP FROZEN" Hmmm, frycicles, doesn't sound very good Kroger, ill just serve them MY way!

janene

The California venomous lawn snake.

Summer, a time for frolicking around in the sprinklers, washing the car, the boat, the windows. Getting a nice cool drink from the garden hose...WHAT? NO STOP! You live in California, you could die! You see, on roll-a-hose packages bought in California is this bit of caution, "WARNING!May cause cancer in the state of California." Whew! I'm so glad I live in Utah! I can play in the hose all I want without any worries! Yay!

janene

Mom? Get me out of here!!!

Cook, maid, chauffeur, laundress, professional shopper, nanny, and expert time manager, in other words, MOM. With all of those jobs to do no wonder we occasionally lose our minds! But if we take a little extra time to read instructions, some mishaps can be avoided, for instance this little warning on the portable baby stroller. "WARNING! Remove infant before folding for storage!" UHM, OKAY thankyou stroller people, I'll try to remember that!

janene

A jerk at one end of the line waiting for a jerk at the other!

The lonely fisherman, the salt of the sea, the long hours alone waiting to reel in moby dick, never quite getting that monster fish to take the bait! What a poor lonely old soul! But there is a product that gives him hope! A friend just for me! And then he reads the fine print, "not meant as a substitute for human companionship." But it says right on the front in big letters, FISHERMAN'S FRIEND, but alas, it is not meant to be! ,

janene

EEK a mouse!

I promise I'm not obsessed with mice! I know, I'm talking about rodents again, but this time it is of the "double click " variety. I know most people are afraid of the creepy furry little critters, but a computer mouse? According to the sgi. computer owners manual some people may be terrified of them! You see the manual comes with this admonishment, all in capital letters to stress the point, "DO NOT DANGLE THE MOUSE BY ITS CABLE OR THROW THE MOUSE AT COWORKERS!" Best to just throw the good old fashioned pen at an annoying coworker!
janene

Kills rats, gives mice cancer!

You have a rodent problem, YUCK! The critters may seem cute and harmless to some people, and in India they even have a temple just for rats! To each his own, but if I see one, its dead! But if I happen to buy rat poison to kill a mouse, I may just have a very sick mouse on my hands needing chemotherapy! You see, on the box of rat poison is this caution, "WARNING! this product has been known to cause cancer in laboratory mice."

janene

It got me! I'M MELTING!

Water, its cool, refreshing and in Helena, Montana can get you into trouble! In Helena it is illegal to annoy passersby on sidewalks with a revolving sprinkler. Maybe the people in Helena have seen the Wizard of Oz too many times and think a little water will melt them like the wicked witch?

janene

Who says you can't learn from video games!

The world of computer games has become very realistic! You can even design your own avatar that puts you inside the action! You can control your own little world all with the click of a mouse, however...some things are best done the old fashioned way. Going to school! The folks at Microsoft agree! On the "Microsoft Flight Simulator 2000", you will find this, "WARNING! This program should not be used in flight training! Death or serious injury could result!" I am relieved that Microsoft has assured that no computer game geek will be flying an airplane I am on! Thankyou!

janene

King of the road.

Truckers. The backbone of America, getting all of our needs and desires to the supermarkets and grocery stores we depend on. The white nights of the highways helping keep America going. Men and women, driving thousands of miles on roads too often traveled by idiots! One trucker probably fed up with these morons of the highway posted this warning sign on his truck, "WARNING! Do not attempt to drive under,over,or through this truck! If you should choose to ignore this warning, good luck and have fun! Do not pass on right side!". Its good to keep a sense of humor! 

janene

Painting the town red!

Men have tried to control women for centuries. They reason we are too delicate and need protection. Why would wearing a certain color clothing harm us? Well if you are in St. Croix, Wisconsin you are NOT allowed to wear the Color red in public if you are a woman! Maybe its an old law from days when red was a color symbolic of women of "easy virtue"?

janene

Hot Fudge?

This warning is on a product that I just can't imagine anyone thinking would make a delicious addition to dessert. The warning, "DO NOT USE AS AN ICECREAM TOPPING".The product....Hair Coloring Solution! Any woman who has used this product can attest to the strong pungent odor, why would you even consider adding it to a nice cold bowl of icecream? I don't think even a dumb blonde dying her locks a more serious shade of brunette would look at the thick brown goop and think, "mmmm I'm puting you on my  icecream!" 

janene

But it looks like food!

Have you ever been dreaming about eating marshmallows and awoken to find yourself trying to eat your pillow? I haven't, but there are some people that have reported this to have happened. Maybe these incidents are what prompted this warning added to mattress labels! "WARNING! DO NOT ATTEMPT TO SWALLOW!" You would have to possess a really big mouth to try and swallow a mattress, and I can't imagine anyone trying to, but thank goodness they warned me not to try it, I feel so safe! Thanlyou mattress people!
janene

This jelly isn't working, and it tastes bad!

Sometimes companies are forced to add a warning to their labels after an idiot missuses their product. One such product is a contraceptive jelly. A New England woman said that the product's instructions weren't clear enough, causing her to become pregnant and so she sued the company.  Evidently she made some toast spread the contraceptive jelly on it and ate it! Not wanting another lawsuit the company added this warning to their jelly. "WARNING! This is not an oral cotraceptive. Eating this product will not prevent pregnancy, has no nutritional value,tastes like wallpaper paste and is not part of a complete breakfast."

janene

Hello Chief, I am just entering town, holdup in ten min?

How nice it would be if criminals informed us of their plans beforehand. All the headache that would prevent! Ya, RIGHT! Well lawmakers in Washington state hoping to reduce crime rates actually put this law on the books. "It is mandatory for a motorist with criminal intentions to stop at the city limits and telephone the chief of police that he/she is entering town." SERIOUSLY? Oh sure, even the dumbest criminals aren't that stupid! "Duh, ocifer,I is a gunna rob the bank, noon okey fer you?"

janene

WARNING! laughing prohibited.

Laughing, giggling, smiling, all make you feel good inside! Laughter is a good thing, right? WRONG! This sign is located on Highway 26,in Idaho Falls, Idaho. "Warning to tourists:don't laugh at the natives." Having never been there I have no idea why the natives are so sensitive! Please if anyone knows why this is so, please I would like to know, but for now...no laughing!

janene

What size poop bag do you need for this pet?

I know people love exotic animals, such as unusual cats, dogs, chinchillas and ferrets. I have even heard of alligators, snakes, and iguanas as pets. WHY OH WHY would you want an elephant, especially if you live in a big city like San Francisco! Well, apparently someone did and it was a problem they had to address by passing a law! The city of San Francisco, California has this law on the books, "elephants are prohibited from strolling down market street unless they are on a leash". Okay, I can see someone keeping a baby elephant, but like all creatures they grow up! I'm pretty sure there comes a point that NO LEASH is strong enough! And as with dogs you must pick up their poop and place in garbage, can you imagine the size of....poop....you would have to pick up?

janene

more signs

I am still being held captive in a hospital, therefore I am once again limited to what research I can do. So, here are a few more stupid signs! enjoy!

janene

Here's your sign

Signs ,signs ,everywhere signs! Signs warn us about dangers and give us directions , also signs let us know the rules and laws we must follow! Occasionally signs just confuse us all together! 

janene

Sign here.

Read the signs for they point the way...in some cases they lead you to confusion! 

janene

Can dogs read?

This sign is posted next to a river in a state park, I don't know which one.  I never thought about learning the canine language!  If your dog is smart enough to read, then he/she is smart enough to pick up their own poop! Why stop there the dog should be smart. enough to use a toilet!

janene

Here's your sign!

I am still stuck in the hospital, and unable to research my blog! Very sorry! I found some little tidbits. that I hope you will enjoy! I will be back. This first picture just made me laugh! It was probably taken as some fraternity prank...you decide!
janene

Missing!?!

Dear followers,
I am very sorry that I haven't been posting. Please don't leave me! I promise that as soon as I get back home again I will find those stupid laws! I will also find those instructions and directions that confuse us, and need their own set of directions!  So my wonderful followers, please hang in there! Ill be back very soon! 

Thankyou!
janene

a sign for a sign?

This has to be a joke? Why else would you need a sign whose sole purpose is to warn you about itself? Seriously? 

janene

Should have read the instructions dude!

You wouldn't think that instructions are necessary on every product, for instance, toilet paper. Most people know how to use it! Heinz brand ketchup however does not trust us stupid consumers to use their product properly. Heinz ketchup bottles tell us what to do, "INSTRUCTIONS: PUT ON FOOD." Thankyou Heinz, I didn't know to do that!

janene

You really need to be warned not to do this?

We humans are very smart, look at all the things we have invented and accomplished! We should be able to recognize dangerous ways to use machines...however, some of us need to be told the obvious! Do we really need to be warned how not to use a chainsaw, evidently YES! These are actual warnings from chainsaws! The Swedish chainsaw Husqvarna has this warning, "DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP CHAIN WITH YOUR HANDS OR GENITALS!" Ummm, okay I wont! And this warning in on an American chainsaw, "DANGER! do not hold the wrong end of a chainsaw!" But here is my favorite one, also from an American chainsaw, "DANGER! Moving digging teeth will kill you or cut off arm or leg! STAY AWAY! "
janene

Frudrights very grood!

I know American's are looked at as moronic idiots in certain parts of the world, CALM down, I'm not agreeing with them...well, okay some of us are morons! But I'm pretty sure we know certain things and don't need Warnings! But Komatsu brand floodlights come with a warning for us duhhm American's anyway. "WARNING!:This floodlight is capable of illuminating large areas, even in the dark." No! REALLY? I wanted my floodlight to FLOOD an area with light! That is why I bought a FLOODLIGHT! But thanks for the warning!

janene

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