omgoodness, I'm blogging again!

Dear readers, I know it has been a VERY long time since i posted anything on my blog. Life as you all know sends us many curve balls and challenges. I finally got a computer that works and have decided that i am going to blog again! I know, miracles do still occur! I will once again be searching the wacky world of strange and weird laws and warning labels. I will find those stupid signs posted around the world. I want to beg you to come back and explore the idiotic things we are expected to follow by lawyers, companies and public officials. Comments and suggestions are not only welcome, but would be GREATLY appreciated! I promise to to try and make you giggle and smile! Hope you read me soon! love, janene

About Me

My photo

mom, wife, jeeper, motherinlaw, and crippled old granny.

Then I do what?


The monthly visit from "aunt flow". The Annoying thing we women have to put up with!  The use of tampons and such are just a fact of life for us. But I guess some women are not that adept at using them. The instructions for tampon use found inside every box is pretty funny, unless of course you are stupid and dont comprehend what you are supposed to do. But the last instruction really makes me crack up, the final step of tampon use instruction...."Pull up underwear". Whew I'm soo glad they tell you that...I would hate to walk around with my pants down!

DON'T EAT THAT! OR FLICK IT!

Nose picking is a bad habit no matter how you do it, but if you do it in Alabama you better not flick it! It's illegal! Alabama has a law actually making it illegal to flick boogers into the wind. Was the flying booger problem out of control? It's called "Kleenex" Alabamans!

There should be a law against that!

"Yes, this atm has been raped."
This is another one of those warning labels that you know had to have been created after some moron somewhere did something, well, moronic! These idiots don't possess common sense, but they do possess too much time on their hands and lawyers on speed dial. On the side of a.t.m. machines is this cute little warning..."Please do not insert penis!" Now i know in todays age sexual perversion is pretty rampant, but come on DUDES, an atm machine? What the heck. Do you find atms that sexy and desirable? Or is it the money inside that turns you on? If any atm lover out there is brave enough to shed some light onto this strange behavior, I will totally keep your identity a secret!!

EVER HEARD OF BREATHMINTS DUDE?

Some silly laws are just that...SILLY! But I think this law from Gary, Indiana is genius! "All persons are prohibited from attending a movie house or other theater and from riding a public streetcar, bus, or train within four hours of eating anything seasoned with garlic." I am very sensitive to smells. There have been times that I've encountered a person with an odor so foul as to make me puke. This law is probably very old, and not enforced, but I would vote for an updated version here where I live. I would add to the list of places, elevators, grocery stores, malls, pretty much all public places. I would also add to the offensive odors onions, the wearing of excessive perfume and at the very top of the list...the stench of body odor hanging around a person that is opposed to bathing and using deodorant and soap! That would be a great law!

No animal lovers here!

"Its a congo line, not mating!"
This is a silly law from California. It is silly, because I can't see how anyone could prevent it! California law states, "All animals are banned from mating publicly within 1,500 feet of a tavern, school, or place of worship." The animal kingdom pretty much does what it wants! How do the powers that be in  California really expect to inforce this law? See what I mean...SILLY!!!

Safe sex.




All kinds of  products come with warning labels. Even something that's use should be obvious like condoms. But alas we are a dumb, litigious society and companies employ lawyers to help write warning labels and instructions hopefully detailed enough that we consumers have no excuse to sue them for being dumb enough to use their product in the wrong way. These can be found on different condom brands. This warning is printed on packages of "Trojan" brand condoms, "Use for sex only-not to be eaten". Okay, i think most people would know that even if a condom comes in fruit flavors and scents, that they aren't a tubular shaped fruit roll up. This label on "Ansell" brand condoms has me confused, but curious. "DO NOT RETURN USED CONDOMS TO THE MANUFACTURER THROUGH THE MAIL". Why would someone want to?  Perhaps a father to be wanted the company to test the condom to see why he is a father to be? Maybe he just didn't read the use instructions very carefully! I don't know about you, but it's scary to me knowing that these dummies that can't even do something as simple as using a condom the right way could actually reproduce!

Paper or Plastic?

Reuse USA!!!!!
These actually arent that bad!
Cheap dorm decor?



What every country kitchen needs!

60's retro chair?

prom dress


this recliner looks like bagged meat...


So many people are going "GREEN" these days, and part of this trend is reusing things you would normally throw away in creative and sometimes very odd ways. I was going to post a warning label from a plastic bag, and while doing the research for a picture to go with it i found all of these stupid things people made from plastic bags. I just had to share them! I will post the warning label at another time, so for now enjoy these "fabulous" plastic masterpieces! 

Prutta srot A into srot b.


Must have gotten lost in the translation. Never has this been so true looking at these instructions on how to put  this "flying goku" toy from Japan together. I just can't imagine the frustration of a father on Christmas eve, reading these instructions over and over, trying to make sense of the very poorly translated instructions. Or perhaps it isn't just the translation! Here is a challenge for you...see if you can figure out the instructions...if you can, you deserve a degree in Japanese!

Go ahead fine me! I'm dead!

I am not sure which railroad station has this sign hanging on it's wall, but whoever designed it didn't really think it through. It reads, "touching wires causes instant death. $200 fine". Ok I was stupid enough to touch the wires...(if what the sign says is true) I'm dead...now you want to fine my corpse! Well go ahead! I'm sure ill come back from the great beyond to give you $200!!!!

Animal Rights?

Sometimes I think animal rights advocates are just a little bit....well
...NUTS! However, these laws from three different states passed to protect our animal population, are totally justified! I just feel sorry for the poor little critters that were harmed by morons creating the need to make these laws! The first one comes from Florida, "No person or persons shall molest or annoy key deer." The second comes from New York state,"It is unlawful for any person to urinate on a bird of any kind." In both of those laws there probably was an incident that prompted the need to create a law, such as an over amorous deer lover getting his "grove on" , and a drunk in central park with good aim peeing on pigeons. But this third law...Well? In California a law to protect mountain goats reads, "No sticking wooden sticks into a mountain goat's ass." They should add,"if you do and the goat kicks you in the head, TOO DARN BAD MORON!" Why would someone do that? Why I say WHY?!?

SHAVE IT, WAX IT, OR NAIR IT!

Okay my female readers, you know you have occasionally left your house a little furrier than usual, sporting that bit o stubble on your legs or under your armpits. But the lawmakers in the city of carrezo New Mexico don't want to see it! They are repulsed by stubble on women! New Mexico has this law on the books,"No female shall appear on or in any public sidewalk,street,or public park or any public place with  unshaven legs, underarms, and face." Maybe this bills sponsors were totally freaked out by the bearded lady in the circus? I am surprised that the women's rights people haven't gotten this law taken off the books!  Or at least made the law require men to shave too!

Head and Tail lights!

In my research I have found some very stupid laws. This law from Kansas ranks as one of my top ten favorites. This state law reads, "all pedestrians crossing any state highway after dark must wear tailights." My question, "how the heck do you mount tailights to your backside?", and if you manage to mount them, "where do you carry the power supply?" Best thing to do if you are in Kansas after dark, stay home and if you do go out, stay away from highways, unless your butt is a lit up!

Are horses really that afraid of cars?

This silly law comes courtesy of the state of Pennsylvania. It reads, "If a driver sees a team of horses, he is to pull to one side of the road and cover his machine with a blanket or dust cover that has been painted to blend into the scenery. In the event that a horse refuses to pass a car on the road, the owner of the vehicle must take his machine apart and conceal the parts in the bushes until the beast has passed." Only in Amish country!!!! And the people at p.e.t.a. probably are in approval of this law too!

Need an adult diaper? It "Depends".

I hope I age gracefully and can avoid having to wear underwear made of layers of absorbent paper. But alas, it is an unpleasant part of aging for a great number of seniors. "DEPEND" adult diapers come with this awesome (a strong note of sarcasm here) set of instructions on how to wear their, "underwear". "Step into underwear and pull them on just like regular underwear". They should add, "these don't look or feel like regular underwear, they are big and bulky, and once you pee, or crap in them, change them right away, they do NOT absorb odors, just liquids."

Followers

Total Pageviews

Sociable