omgoodness, I'm blogging again!

Dear readers, I know it has been a VERY long time since i posted anything on my blog. Life as you all know sends us many curve balls and challenges. I finally got a computer that works and have decided that i am going to blog again! I know, miracles do still occur! I will once again be searching the wacky world of strange and weird laws and warning labels. I will find those stupid signs posted around the world. I want to beg you to come back and explore the idiotic things we are expected to follow by lawyers, companies and public officials. Comments and suggestions are not only welcome, but would be GREATLY appreciated! I promise to to try and make you giggle and smile! Hope you read me soon! love, janene

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mom, wife, jeeper, motherinlaw, and crippled old granny.

Illegal water collecting gang BUSTED!

Water, the one thing we can't live without. Wars have been waged over this precious commodity. In the state of Colorado they are very protective of it! Colorado law reads, "the collection of rain water in barrels or containment of any means is strictly prohibited. All rain water, or precipitation of any kind has already been lawfully allocated to the state of Colorado, and individuals may not capture and use water to which he/she does not have a right". Isn't this taking things a bit too far?

janene

I thought "cat house"meant something else...

Minnesota has gone too far for animal rights, I know, hush animal lovers, its just my opinion! In the city of Shakopee, Minnesota "it is illegal to bulldoze one's house when 5 or more cats occupy the ventilation systems as THEIR home."  Do these cats pay the rent? Who cleans up after them? All I can picture is a stinking three bedroom litterbox. Yuck!

janene

Guess which one of these guys are criminals?

There are many things we think are offensive, language, jokes, gestures, but you might think Floridians see things just a bit differently. In a state where you commonly see scantily clad men and women in public view on the beach, you would think they are not too concerned about being modest. Believe it or not, they are, but in a totally silly sense. Florida law reads, "it is considered an offense, punishable by confinement or penalty fine, to shower naked." Yep, you can hang every lump and bump out in the sunshine for all to see, but when you go back home to wash of the salt and sand, you better be clothed!

janene

Boy, them rabbits are too fast!

Kansas! Home of Dorothy and Toto, and this silly piece of legislation, "hunting rabbits in a motor boat is strictly prohibited". I had no idea rabbits were aquatic creatures. Or, perhaps, they have an entire rabbit species in Kansas I have never HEARD of? All you rabbit hunter's in Kansas, please enlighten me!

janene

But that is not logical.

Why do men think that resembling a goat is so cool? Take a look at my profile picture and you will get an idea why I think this next law isn't stupid at all! Massachusetts has an ordinance that reads, "no man may appear in public while his facial hair is trimmed in the style of a goatee, under penalty of law, unless he has paid a licensing fee for the privilege of doing so". I love my wonderful husband more than anything in this world, BUT, the goatee....uhg, that I could live without!

janene

Granny Hatfield, wanted for biting 100 persons!

Louisiana has some pretty silly laws, this is one of my favorites! "Biting someone with your natural teeth is classified as a SIMPLE ASSULT, while biting someone with your false teeth is AGGRAVATED ASSULT". Now this hardly seems fair! Granny should be free to defend herself with any means she has without fear of prosecution! However, if she just goes on a biting frenzy for fun, well......

janene

oops

sorry, been very hectic the last few days, stupid laws will be back tomorrow!  promise!

janene

Just getting ready for church honey!

If you find this a bit, DISTURBING, do not visit the city of Oblong, Illinois. They have a city law that reads, "it is unlawful for a man to wear his wife's underpants on Sunday, unless he has prior written permission from the Bishop." Are cross-dressing Oblongians so open that they advertise they wear silky Lacy underthings? Please, unless its a panty emergency and all of YOUR tighty whities or boxers are in the hamper, keep your "Victor's secret" to yourself.

janene

We can have our snowman, and live in it too!

You would think in a place like Alaska there would be enough snow for everyone! Evidently they are greedy with it! Alaska has a law on the books that reads,"stealing snow from a neighbors yard to make a snowman is against the law, but if using snow for the purpose of building an igloo, it is lawful and acceptable." A loophole in the law, just build a snowman with an igloo belly!

janene

I showered 11 months ago, I still got a month fer I gotta again!

Kentucky law reads, " every citizen is required to take a shower once a year". Now, I really hope that Kentuckians  take baths between their yearly shower! 

janene

On guard thief!

This is actually an Arizona law, "while being attacked by a criminal or burglar, you may only protect yourself with the SAME weapon that the other person possesses." So, if you catch a burglar in your home, do you go grab two baseball bats and hand them one before you wack them over the head? Give me a break! If some  jerk breaks.  into MY home, I'm grabbing the nearest bat, rolling pin, or frying pan and I'm NOT going to wait around to see what weapon they have!

janene

Don't say CHEESE!

These sweet looking innocent couples would be breaking the law if they were in the city of Tolido, Ohio.  What law could they possibly be breaking? Believe it or not, this one, "while inside the city limits of Tolido, Ohio, you may not speak to any person of the opposite sex, if you hold in your hand a piece of any kind of cheese." Seriously? Some couples in love may say things to each other that could classify as "cheesy", but it seems as Ohioans take this expression literally and don't like it!

janene

No picture, no comment, no idea why...

This law from Atlanta, Georgia leaves me, well, lets just say I would hate to be the person checking for compliance. Atlanta law states, "no person shall let their pubic hair grow past six inches." Feel free to comment, I have none...

janene

@#$*!!!!

West Virginia has figured out a sure fire way to fill the state treasury!  An ordinance there reads, "if any person arrived at the age of discretion profanely curse or swear or get drunk in public, he or she shall be fined by a Justice one dollar for EACH offense ". When I read this law I had to giggle. I could just see a line of people at the atm getting dollar bills for the weekend, "What you doing this weekend,?" "Baby sitting the kids, and you?" "Watching a Chicago Bears game."

janene

I scream, you scream!

Icecream our favorite American summer dessert!  All the wonderful flavors, stuffed into a sugar cone making it very easy to eat on the go! What silly law could possibly involve such a wonderfully innocent treat? Well, I found one! It comes from the city of Louisville,  Kentucky. "It is unlawful for any person to walk down a street, public or private,  with an icecream cone in your back pocket." Not that I would ever WANT to, but who found it so harmful to do so, that they made sure to get a law passed to protect us? Who? Anyone?

janene

But this IS my face!

Okay my Oklahoma cousins, maybe you can tell me why this law was passed. Oklahoma has a law that reads, "violators can be fined, arrested or jailed, for making ugly faces at a dog."  Why? Has an unsuspecting dog been mentally damaged by some person pulling a face at it, rendering the poor canine unable to eat or drink from the toilet ever again? What about the ugly people that can't help how they look? Should they have to stay in seclusion so they don't traumatize a poor dog? Please enlighten me, isn't this taking animal rights a bit too far?

janene

"Wheezy Rider".

Every one ages. Its a fact of life. If you are still alive and spunky at the age of 90, I think you have earned the right to do what you want as long as your mind is still all there.Older folks enjoy many activities in their golden years.But there is one place that discriminates against senior folks! In Idaho Falls, Idaho, "riding a motorcycle is prohibited if you are aged 90 or over". So all you motorcycle gang members out there that want to feel the wind in what's left of your hair, cruising the open road on your "hog",be sure to stay out of Idaho Falls!

janene

"Shocking!"

Florida, lots of beaches and sunshine, and bodies enhanced with plastic surgery.  There are many things women do to become "beautiful". Nose jobs, boob jobs, fat sucked out, fat put back in, lips puffed up, butt deflated.In Florida  there is one "beauty" treatment that I have NEVER heard of, and its ILLEGAL!  In the city of Pensacola, Florida "a woman can be fined (only after death), for being electrocuted in a bathtub for using self-beautification utinsils". SERIOUSLY?  First, I am pretty sure electrocution doesn't enhance ones beauty! Second, how do you get a dead person to pay the fine? If it really does make you beautiful, you will at least be a pretty corpse!

janene

"Absent again......."

Due to the fact that I am having an overhaul on my bile duct, I wont be blogging for a few days. I will probably be a little loopy and miserable!  See you in a few days! ;)

janene

"Ha, we will get your gas when we are done! "

At first glance this law from Grants Pass, Oregon seems like a good idea! "It is illegal to pump your own gasoline, if you do you will be assessed a $1,000.00 fine". Now I hate pumping my own gas, I hate the smell, the dirty spouts, the whole entire process. Giving me a great excuse to leave it to a professional seemed like a dream come true! BUT, yea there is a but, on further thought I have changed my mind. Not all guys pumping gas would love their job like Steve Martin did in the movie, "The Jerk"!.If we had to rely on someone making minimum wage that didn't exactly need an education to put peg one in slot b...how enthusiastic would they be at their job. Filling your tank with gas could take longer. And you also would feel obligated to give the poor Guy a tip!

janene

"Wanted: Billy Bob Murphy, last seen at the local parish..."

Some men think that wearing a mass of fake hair on their heads makes them look younger. Usually even the most expensive hair piece still looks like some unfortunate dead animal perched on their head. However in Alabama a fake bit of hair taped under your nose can land you in jail! Alabama law reads, "it is unlawful to wear a fake mustache if it causes laughter in church ". So men, and some women,  please leave your extra stubble enhancers at home on Sundays!

janene

"I can't borrow a vacuum, they will put me in jail!"

In Colorado for some unknown reason they live by the old adage, "neither a borrower or lender be! ". As a result people are forced to wallow in dust and dirt if the can't afford a vacuum cleaner! Colorado law reads, "it is unlawful to lend your vacuum cleaner to your next door neighbor." I don't know why this became a law, but to be honest I wouldn't want someone to borrow mine if their house was filthy!

janene

"Spring Cleaning"

Spring, a time of digging in the dirt to plant flowers outside, and digging into the dirt inside and exterminating the dust bunnies that have been reproducing all winter. Pennsylvania housewives however must do a thorough job or risk going to jail! An ordinance in Pennsylvania reads, "all housewives are banned from hiding dirt or dust under the rug in all dwellings." I am once again appalled at the male chauvinistic laws on the books of this great nation! I men in Pennsylvania don't want dust bunnies as pets, THEY can pick up a vacuum or broom and exterminate them! 

"Moab, last day..."

As the old saying goes, "All good things must come to an end". But before we had to go, we got in one last day of wheeling! After we loaded all of our luggage into the Dodge for the trip home we headed up to "Hells Revenge" in the Jeeps. Derrick, Rob and Nicole, Robby, and us. The sun was shining brightly, and conference was coming in, sort of, on the radio. Setting for a perfect Easter day! As we were waiting for the group in front of us to head up the trail, we talked to the park rangers that were also waiting to go. We asked them if they had found the jerks out making a mess the day before on chicken corners, and they thanked us with big grins on their faces, and informed us they indeed had and multiple tickets were issued!  Yippee! Rob was excited to experience moabs famous slickrock, but Nicole was quite NERVOUS! Derrick had done the trail several times, we had too, and Robby was excited to experience "hell" for the first time. Off we went, hoping conference on the radio would be in our favor as we tempted fate, doing Hells Revenge on Easter Sunday!  This particular trail eats Jeeps all the time! Some of the worst carnage happens on this trail! Most of it follows the "slickrock" bike trail, and is difficult riding a bike, but it is very fun! You drive on sandstone rocks so steep at times all you see out of your windshield is sky going up, rock going down, and usually on very narrow fins with big drop offs on both sides. The scenes of natural beauty are breath taking! We followed Derrick, most of the time, but he would find the hardest steepest route and played on them. Nicole's Jeep isn't built hardcore so she was pretty nervous in spots, but Rob was driving and had the biggest grin on his face!!! I could tell we had gotten  another moab jeepnut added to the ranks! I kept trying to get pictures of Derrick doing crazy stuff, but he was walking up things so fast, by the time I got the camera ready, he was done! We made him do an obstacle called tip over challenge again so we could get a picture, he did so gladly!  The trail went way too quickly and soon we were finished! We then went back to town. Derrick and Allan went to load the Jeep onto the trailer, and Nicole, Rob and I went to the tshirt shop to use the $44 worth of gift certificates the club give Allan and I every year for being a trail leader. I got the cutest little tshirt for my grandbaby, it is a tiny replica of the first shirt we got for Courtney the first time we went to moab. I also got a few bumper stickers. One for Derrick that says, "I spend all my money on my Jeep, and waste the rest." Allan had to have the one that says, "if it ain't broke, fix it till it is!" very fitting! At last we were heading home, very bummed to be leaving! The usual idiots also driving stupidly on highway 6, passing at bad times, driving too slow at others.....uhg. As we got closer to home, the sun was hidden by clouds, the red rocks replaced by snow, and my happy mood replaced with sadness. We decided next year we are staying an extra day and not going home until Monday after Easter!  Something to look forward to! And hopefully we will have Courtney's little family along too! Well, trip is over, hope you have enjoyed my tales! Tomorrow back to the usual! I hope you keep reading, and comment often please! You can see all of our adventure pictures on Facebook! 

janene

"Big Saturday chicken corners "

Today was a piece of cake. We did our usual day before Easter thing and helped lead a safari trail, this year, chicken corners. It is the least technical safari trail ran. It is basically a dirt road, but has some awsome scenery. We lined up at 8am on main street moab for the big "parade". The highway patrol shuts down the road through moab and all the jeeps get to head out in trail groups without obeying traffic lights, pretty cool! We had most of our trail regulars, whole families that have been coming on our big Saturday trail for many years! It is fun to see their children grow and bring their children! The trail takes us over the Harrah pass, one of the higher elevations down here. We also have some pretty cool views of the Colorado river. At our lunch spot, a place called the wind caves, we set up an Easter egg hunt for the kids, and an obstacle course for a select group of "big kids". We choose 4 Jeeps as our VICTIMS and had the wife drive blindfolded while her husband guided from the passenger seat. It always makes great entertainment!  This years participants got tshirts and hats, and a little weak in the knees! ;)  We then gave away tshirts, hats and some other prizes to "the oldest Jeep," "the biggest group" and things like that. We have a very sweet YOUNG lady which takes the oldest person there award practically every year. The last few she has been given a hat. This year before we started the awards she told us she didn't want or need another stupid hat, to please not tell everyone she's the oldest unless its WORTH it! We already planned to give her a special tshirt, and of course, another hat! :) She loved the tshirt! She said she was looking forward to another one next year! She is a very cute lady! Our trail went very smoothly as usual and we were finished by 2pm. Allan and I left the main group and went up to look for a natural bridge we had heard about. We found it, Allan walked across it, I don't care for heights, so I took pictures. It was a great day, with great people! Now a public service announcement, when we got to the wind caves today, a group of younger immature bratty twenty somethings had made an illegal camp. They had garbage everywhere and had been using the "restroom" where ever they felt like it, and since they had been drinking, a lot by their beer cans and liquor bottles thrown all around, they went potty a whole bunch! I took pictures of the mess, and license plate of the one vehicle they left behind not knowing what I would do with them. On our way out we got stopped by two rangers. They asked us where the wind caves were and if we had seen a messy illegal camp there. Allan told them how to find it, and I told them I had taken pictures!  They were very impressed, told me Great job, and could they see them. I showed them the pictures and as they were looking through them they said I had documented at least 5 violations and wrote down the plate number I had. They then went to BUST the jerks! I guess they had been tipped off by a number of people that the idiots were out there, but I was the first one that thought enough ahead and took pictures!  Let this be a lesson to all the jerks who use the backcountry as their own personal party house, people are watching and will turn you in! Don't abuse the privilege and get everyone's taken away! Well, that's that....home tomorrow, uhg!

janene

"Moab part two"

Well today was, "interesting", for lack of a better description. We decided to do a trail called rusty nail with nate and his buddies. We have done it before, and knew it was a pretty hard little trail, and knew Nicole's Jeep wouldn't make it in parts. She and Rob decided to come along anyway and just turn back when we got to the one spot we knew they couldn't make. That was our plan anyway! Nate's buddy Chris had a little stock Cherokee so we figured if he could, Nicole could. As with all plans, even the best laid ones can go amiss! The FIRST hard obstacle of the day was a tiny bit better than the bypass route, but it claimed the first victim in our group right away! Mike DeMarco's BIG BAD BUILT MONSTER JEEP! Crash, bang, broken hub....done. Then Nate and another buddy made it up, and it was Derrick 's turn. He almost made it alone, but took a strap the rest of the way. After that we decided to take Chris over the bypass, it took awhile! We then changed the plan and decided to go back the way we came, and Derrick, Chris, Chris's brother and Rusty wanted to keep going the rest of the way. A small problem, an ugly ledge was between them and the rest of the trail. Allan wanted to make sure they got up it okay before we turned back. At one point Derrick was hung up on his rear diff and it took all the guys pushing on him to rock him off! They did it though! That incident is the picture on the blog. They they all got up though! Lets just say it took quite a long time! After they were finally on there way we decided to go over a new road to Gemini bridge.  Second dumb idea of the day. The "road" didn't look too well traveled, and we had to scout ahead at times to find our way. We NEVER found it! We ended up at a dead end with a huge drop off and nowhere to go but back. Gemini bridge will have to wait for another day! We got back to town at six and Allan had to be at the arena for the big raffle at six thirty. I am relaxing in the luxurious condo, dust washed off, and all alone, and thoroughly enjoying it! We still haven't heard from Derrick yet. I hope we don't have to go rescue them tonight! We have to be up bright and early and ready to lead our trail in the morning!

janene

"Moab adventure part one"

We "blew" into town last night with some of the worst wind I have ever seen! Walking in it I almost blew over! Today we headed south to the needles district of canyonlands. We went over Elephant hill and over to the confluence of the Green and Colorado rivers. On the way down there we encountered 2" of snow! Yuck! We did eventually get a little sunshine, and when we were on our way back out the snow had mostly melted. The wind is still pretty fierce though! We had a fun day of wheeling and had no problems except the wind! Nate and Derrick were too "cool" to hang out with the old folks and did their own thing! Nicole and Rob came with us and Rob drove her Jeep, grinning the whole way! I am posting lots of pictures on Facebook, check them out! Look for part two tomorrow night!

janene

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