I suppose if you live in a state with frequent  earthquakes like California, some things you just know to stop doing if a quake starts. However, being human, which occasionally means stupid, a disposable razor company decided to caution us. They placed a warning on their packages that reads, "DO NOT USE THIS PRODUCT DURING AN EARTHQUAKE!" Maybe they should have added, "if you are shaving naked and an earthquake starts, drop razor, grab robe, and run outside!"

janene

Sharing, such a wonderful thing to practice! But do not under any circumstances let anyone have a bite of your hamburger if you are in the state of Oklahoma! You see, it is not just frowned upon, it is ILLEGAL! In Oklahoma, "It is unlawful for any person to take a bite from another persons hamburger, and will NOT be tolerated!" So I guess maybe a loophole to this law could be, "If you are going to share...bring a knife?"

janene

This comes courtesy of the state of New Mexico. It seems that the state officials read different works from  shakespeare than I did, you see they found it sooo offensive they ordered more than 400 words they considered "sexually explicit material" to be cut from Romeo and Juliet. I guess their understanding of Shakespeare is better than mine, I just remember it being BORING not RACY!

janene

This law comes from the city of Seattle, Washington. "No person may carry a concealed weapon that measures over six feet in length". I am tiny, but even the tallest person couldn't conceal a six foot long gun! But if such a giant exists, he or she can carry anything they want! Who is going to stop them?

janene

This law comes from the city of Chicago, Illinois. They don't mind if you protest naked in front of city hall if you follow these rules...#1 you must have a permit, #2 you must be under the age of seventeen. I can understand why Chicagoans don't want to see old wrinkled naked protesters, but really, why make it legal to protest naked at all?

janene

There are just some things that are a given! Such as, wash behind your ears, wear clean underwear, wash your hands after using the bathroom, and brush your teeth three times a day. However, it is better to forgo the last one if the only "brush" available in the bathroom is the one to clean the toilet bowl! It even warns you not to! Stamped on the toilet brush is this bit of wisdom, "DO NOT USE ORALLY!" If you don't have a toothbrush, just put a little toothpaste on your finger and scrub your teeth! Its better than nothing, and definitely better than a toilet brush!!!!

janene

Drunks do some pretty stupid things! But if they live in the state of Illinois in the city of Champaign, they better not party with their dog! You see it is illegal to give a dog whiskey! But, as with a lot of laws there may be a loophole, the law doesn't forbid dogs to drink alcohol, just whiskey, but do you really need a drinking buddy so badly that you make a Labrador into a lush? Well have fun and watch out for the folks from p.e.t.a!

janene

Window shopping, a great pastime if you are financially challenged. The things store owners do to make you look into THEIR windows are at times bizarre! The mechanical do-das and lights, etc. are pretty amazing!  It seems that when it comes to store window designs any thing goes! There is however an exception. In the city of Everett,  Washington it is illegal to display a hypnotized or allegedly hypnotized person in a store window. Good news for those idiot "mimes", hire them and lock them into a REAL glass box! Keep them contained away from us!

janene

Finally! You get to tell them exactly what you have been wanting to say for YEARS! But if you live in the state of Georgia, it's best not to let it ALL out! A law from Georgia reads, "it is unlawful to use profanity or make crude gestures in front of a dead body which lies in wait at a funeral home or in a coroner's office or morgue." I guess if you must have the last word, keep it clean!

janene

This silly law comes from the beautiful state of Oklahoma. "It is unlawful to place your boots onto the hind legs of any farm animal" Okay, but do you really  think the piggy will mind? If you want to risk getting kicked in the head by an upset horse, pig, or bull, go ahead and try putting boots on them! I guess if they let you put them on they are cool with it!

janene

Your car. You had to get all the options. The cool stereo system,the dvd player, onstar,and beautiful black leather luxury seats! Your pride and joy, you love the feel of buttery soft leather against your backside. Cruising around you feel like royalty! Then summer  comes. The beautiful black leather seats you had to have, the ones so soft against your butt, WELL NOW THEY BURN YOUR BUTT! The hot sun and black leather are a horrible combination! But there is a solution, "Auto-shade windshield visor" guaranteed to keep your cars interior cooler. Installation simple! Just unroll shade and place it against the inside of the windshield. But be sure you heed this Caution! "WARNING! Do not drive with sunshade in place! Remove shade from windshield  before starting ignition!" If you are too stupid andwithout any common sense, and try driving with the shade in place, I hope you have a very fast running guide dog to guide your stupid butt around,

I admit it, I let my tub get pretty dirty between scrubbings, BUT NOT AS DIRTY AS THE ONE IN THE PICTURE! Okay, that having been said, I am always looking for products that make the job easier. As I have always feared, there is no magic cleaner. At least one bathtub cleaner is brave enough to admit they don't have a wonder formula either! Right on the bottle of a popular bathtub cleaner is this bit of enlightenment, "For best results, start with a clean bathtub before use."  I WISH I COULD, but if it was already clean, I wouldn't need bathtub cleaner! The only thing that works, good old elbow grease! DARN IT!

janene