Okay, this is my second post for today, but I had to share! I have been paying extra attention to labels lately, you know why, wink-wink, and making dinner tonite I found this little gem! I hope you find it as funny as I did! On a bag of "Kroger" brand frozen steak fries is this, "SERVING SUGGESTION.KEEP FROZEN" Hmmm, frycicles, doesn't sound very good Kroger, ill just serve them MY way!

janene

Summer, a time for frolicking around in the sprinklers, washing the car, the boat, the windows. Getting a nice cool drink from the garden hose...WHAT? NO STOP! You live in California, you could die! You see, on roll-a-hose packages bought in California is this bit of caution, "WARNING!May cause cancer in the state of California." Whew! I'm so glad I live in Utah! I can play in the hose all I want without any worries! Yay!

janene

Cook, maid, chauffeur, laundress, professional shopper, nanny, and expert time manager, in other words, MOM. With all of those jobs to do no wonder we occasionally lose our minds! But if we take a little extra time to read instructions, some mishaps can be avoided, for instance this little warning on the portable baby stroller. "WARNING! Remove infant before folding for storage!" UHM, OKAY thankyou stroller people, I'll try to remember that!

janene

The lonely fisherman, the salt of the sea, the long hours alone waiting to reel in moby dick, never quite getting that monster fish to take the bait! What a poor lonely old soul! But there is a product that gives him hope! A friend just for me! And then he reads the fine print, "not meant as a substitute for human companionship." But it says right on the front in big letters, FISHERMAN'S FRIEND, but alas, it is not meant to be! ,

janene

I promise I'm not obsessed with mice! I know, I'm talking about rodents again, but this time it is of the "double click " variety. I know most people are afraid of the creepy furry little critters, but a computer mouse? According to the sgi. computer owners manual some people may be terrified of them! You see the manual comes with this admonishment, all in capital letters to stress the point, "DO NOT DANGLE THE MOUSE BY ITS CABLE OR THROW THE MOUSE AT COWORKERS!" Best to just throw the good old fashioned pen at an annoying coworker!
janene

You have a rodent problem, YUCK! The critters may seem cute and harmless to some people, and in India they even have a temple just for rats! To each his own, but if I see one, its dead! But if I happen to buy rat poison to kill a mouse, I may just have a very sick mouse on my hands needing chemotherapy! You see, on the box of rat poison is this caution, "WARNING! this product has been known to cause cancer in laboratory mice."

janene

Water, its cool, refreshing and in Helena, Montana can get you into trouble! In Helena it is illegal to annoy passersby on sidewalks with a revolving sprinkler. Maybe the people in Helena have seen the Wizard of Oz too many times and think a little water will melt them like the wicked witch?

janene

The world of computer games has become very realistic! You can even design your own avatar that puts you inside the action! You can control your own little world all with the click of a mouse, however...some things are best done the old fashioned way. Going to school! The folks at Microsoft agree! On the "Microsoft Flight Simulator 2000", you will find this, "WARNING! This program should not be used in flight training! Death or serious injury could result!" I am relieved that Microsoft has assured that no computer game geek will be flying an airplane I am on! Thankyou!

janene

Truckers. The backbone of America, getting all of our needs and desires to the supermarkets and grocery stores we depend on. The white nights of the highways helping keep America going. Men and women, driving thousands of miles on roads too often traveled by idiots! One trucker probably fed up with these morons of the highway posted this warning sign on his truck, "WARNING! Do not attempt to drive under,over,or through this truck! If you should choose to ignore this warning, good luck and have fun! Do not pass on right side!". Its good to keep a sense of humor! 

janene

Men have tried to control women for centuries. They reason we are too delicate and need protection. Why would wearing a certain color clothing harm us? Well if you are in St. Croix, Wisconsin you are NOT allowed to wear the Color red in public if you are a woman! Maybe its an old law from days when red was a color symbolic of women of "easy virtue"?

janene

This warning is on a product that I just can't imagine anyone thinking would make a delicious addition to dessert. The warning, "DO NOT USE AS AN ICECREAM TOPPING".The product....Hair Coloring Solution! Any woman who has used this product can attest to the strong pungent odor, why would you even consider adding it to a nice cold bowl of icecream? I don't think even a dumb blonde dying her locks a more serious shade of brunette would look at the thick brown goop and think, "mmmm I'm puting you on my  icecream!" 

janene

Have you ever been dreaming about eating marshmallows and awoken to find yourself trying to eat your pillow? I haven't, but there are some people that have reported this to have happened. Maybe these incidents are what prompted this warning added to mattress labels! "WARNING! DO NOT ATTEMPT TO SWALLOW!" You would have to possess a really big mouth to try and swallow a mattress, and I can't imagine anyone trying to, but thank goodness they warned me not to try it, I feel so safe! Thanlyou mattress people!
janene